Sunday, January 3, 2016

Am I Marriable?

 October 5th, 2015

Kära Familjer och Vänner,

"You are doing better than you think you are." - Pres. Holland. It's about time we all heard that- give yourself some more credit this week. :)

This week was a good one and it's only going to get better. Tomorrow I am going to meet Alice's Mom and her Grandparents for dinner! It will be so wonderful- I adore her family! They are so family centered and really care for each other. When I visited them last, I could tell how hard it was going to be for Alice's Mom to say good bye to her. She really loves her daughter and wants the best for her! I am sure that is how my Mom felt too when I left. It will be so fantastic to see them again. I am so lucky to be in Sweden with them!

This week in General Conference there was someone who talked about being the type of person you would want to marry. Recently I have been struggling because I have stepped back into old habits of being a martyr, getting hurt about lots of things and thinking "wo is me" a little bit too much. Not healthy. I was doing it again last night. I was feeling sorry for myself and I was going into my quiet mode (which usually results in Syster Lund asking me what is wrong). I was frustrated with her because she was a little bit short with me last night because I was being SUPER annoying and detail oriented (as usual). I was thinking about my tendency to be a martyr as I was washing my face and getting ready for bed. I was saying to myself: "do I want to marry someone who gets hurt about all these little things and goes into martyr mode? Do I want to marry someone who pouts all the time?" That would be a resounding NO THANK YOU. So I guess that meant I needed to change. Of course. It always comes down to that, doesn't it? Well, I figured I better get started. I went to Syster Lund, gave her a hug and thanked her for her patience with me. I decided not to act all hurt about the evening. She said something like this to me: "I am sorry I am impatient sometimes. I am still working on it." I can't help but smile at my response: "It's okay, we can both work on our weaknesses together." I hadn't been giving her the mercy to have weaknesses, even though I am very obvious with mine! She has listened to my inner conflicts and self battles COUNTLESS times with so much patience and love. She has sacrificed her time and her energy to listen. She gives me advice and tells me to let the unimportant details go (she sings "let it go" from frozen fairly frequently). She is so Christlike and loving, and yet I was looking at her weakness and being impatient with the one time she was impatient out of the countless times she is patient (did that make sense?). I felt the Spirit quietly confirming to me that I chose right to give up my pride and not be a martyr. It felt good! I want to be the person I want to marry! I've got a long ways to go.... Hopefully I can iron out some wrinkles on my mission. :)

Funny story about a less active woman this week. We went to visit this woman who hasn't been to church in a while and it was a great experience. But the funny part started when we knocked on the door. Her young daughter answered the door and said "Mom's in the bathroom!" and slammed the door on us. Super funny- only a kid would do that. Then the less active woman opens the door and is wearing a scarf wrapped around her head like a Muslim woman. The thought was racing through my head "has she switched religions and become a Muslim....?" I frantically whispered to Syster Lund something about "needing to ask her about her headdress." Luckily we think she just wore it to keep her head warm. She was still really positive about the church. But we had a panic attack for a second. 

Love you all so much! Remember that the most important things you can do everyday are to pray and read your scriptures. SO important- never forget those two things!!
Syster Nielsen

Columbian food we ate this week- it was soooo good!!

About ready to preach from the soapbox.

No comments:

Post a Comment